Finding God's Goodness

Week Eighteen. Fortitude to Love. Peace of Forgiveness

Month Five. Fortitude to love myself, expands my hope and kindness

Sometimes I wonder if I’m afraid to forgive myself for being human. I’ve been contemplating lately my resistance to living in radical trust and forgiveness and truly loving myself. As I live in a space within me that accepts me as I am, where I am fully known and loved, the pretenses that diminish my genuineness dissolve. I am emptied of the masks and facades that blind me to who I am that keep me deceiving myself and others.

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Finding God's Goodness

Week Eighteen. Fortitude to Love. Keys to My Heart

Month Five. Fortitude to love myself, expands my hope and kindness

As I contemplate God’s boundless mercy and integrate this divine love throughout my body, mind, and soul, I’m brought to my knees with gratitude and joy. Allowing this mercy to shower over me, I’m cleansed from the thoughts and behaviors that hold me hostage within my own heart. These are the moments I accept that God is God, and that I am His beautiful creature.

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Finding God's Goodness

Week Eighteen. Fortitude to Love. Foundation of Trust

Month Five. Fortitude to love myself, expands my hope and kindness

How many times do I place obstacles within my heart as a barrier to God‘s mercy? God‘s love and mercy so desperately want to work in my heart but I must first open the door. How do I close the door to this love and mercy? By thinking I don’t need God, thinking it’s all up to me to change others or situation, being unaware that God is ever present.  Even my pain and suffering can blind me to trusting in God‘s mercy.

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Finding God's Goodness

Week Eighteen. Fortitude to Love. Mystery

Month Five. Fortitude to love myself, expands my hope and kindness

It takes a lot of fortitude to love myself the way God loves me. As humans, we are filled with irrationality and contradiction and are never predictable. Our past behavior tells us more than anything about how we may behave in the future, but we are prone to self-defeating patterns of behavior rather than remembering and dealing with the underlying conflict associated with them. We are victims of self-deception. We sacrifice our health to make money, then sacrifice money to recuperate our health. We are anxious about the future so that we don’t live in the present. We live as if we aren’t going to die and then we die not having fully lived.  All this is to say, as humans we are a mystery.

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Finding God's Goodness

Week Seventeen. Patience. Looking for God’s Goodness and Weekly Reflection Summary

Month Four – Loving Myself. Fortitude with Faith produces patience

Looking for God’s Goodness in contemplation and prayer. For a Type-A overachiever like me, patience doesn’t come without a lot of deep breathing, yogameditation, and instrumental new-age music. I have to actively remind myself to practice patience. When I feel myself getting impatient, I first ask myself, Is this situation within my control? If the answer is yes, then I actively try to change the situation, so it is less stressful for me.

If the answer is no, and I can’t seem to let the stress go, I move on to a breathing meditation like the following Breath of Patience.

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Finding God's Goodness

Week Seventeen: Patience. An Important Virtue

Month Four – Loving Myself. Fortitude with Faith produces patience

Do you ever feel like you have mastered the virtue of patience and then are taken by surprise and explode! The illusion of being the most patient person in the world just vaporized before your very eyes.  Patience is so important that Jesus Christ, our model in all virtues, said: “By your patience you will save your souls.” St. Augustine prayed in desperation: “Lord, give me patience and right now!”

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Finding God's Goodness

Week Seventeen: Patience. Peace of Heart

Month Four – Loving Myself. Fortitude with Faith produces patience

We all need a little patience. I’m learning that impatience is a key indicator that shows me that something within needs attention. Something is brewing in my heart.

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Finding God's Goodness

Week Seventeen: Patience. Awake Not Anaesthetized

Month Four – Loving Myself. Fortitude with Faith produces patience

The Christian’s journey toward wholeness in the image of Christ for the sake of others progresses by means of spiritual disciplines. The first stage of this journey is the awakening, or waking up to the fact of how unlike Christ I am.

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Finding God's Goodness

Week Seventeen: Patience. Gift of Discomfort

Month Four – Loving Myself. Fortitude with Faith produces patience

Me: “Life is pretty good!”

Also, me: “More! More! More!”

A friend recently articulated well my journey with life at times. When life is going well, I want more but this can keep me from living in the flow of God’s desires for me. God always wants good but good doesn’t always mean easy. In our undisciplined, comfort-seeking culture, it’s easy to get lulled into a false sense of reality. As I’ve matured both in life as well as spiritually, I realize that “no pain, no gain,” doesn’t just apply to my time in the gym. If I want to get better at something or achieve a difficult goal, it usually requires me moving out of my comfort zone.  It also requires moving into a space of suffering, maybe a little, or a lot. 

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