I lift my soul to you God, please fill it with joy. Teach me your way, so I may walk in your truth. I praise you with all my heart and call your name forever. Your mercy to me has been great, and you save me from the depths of hell. (Psalm 86)
The law of the lord is perfect. It revives the soul. (Psalm 19) Lately, I am understanding that I need healing in my relationship with authority. It makes sense as, during most of my formative years, power or authority was used in a negative way, and I rarely had the benefit of unconditional love to shape my identity. I’m seeing how this skewed way of thinking has played into my persona of the quiet rebel. The one pointing within playing out in destructive patterns around eating and drinking too much without boundaries at times.
Reflections for contemplative living Art by Melanie @ Just Be-loved
The other day I was walking on campus, running late to a meeting. As I was rushing through a sea of people trying to get where they were going, I passed a gentleman who was looking at a map. I walked by and continued a few steps ahead, and then listened to my heart.
I can’t pinpoint the day or describe how it happened but the gift of my vocation was eventually revealed to me. I became painfully aware that I didn’t really know how to love and yet I was so strongly called to love. This is when I leaned in, got curious and dived deep into learning, listening, hearing, and finally understanding.
“Let us thank the Lord who guides his people towards full communion with faithfulness and patience, and let us ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten us and sustain us with his gifts,”
As humans, we want certainty. It’s part of our very nature. Most of us don’t like change but change is necessary for growth. As a result, we lose our sense of mystery. When we lose our sense of mystery, this sucks the very life out of us.
We are called to decrease, allowing Him to increase. I’ve found that there is little I can do to make this happen except to surrender, stay close to Jesus’ scripture and prayer. This is truly what matters in life.