Day 37: God Always Sees Me

Reflection by Jacquelyne Rocan

Was I hurt today without anyone noticing?

Last year, I celebrated a work anniversary milestone.  During a staff meeting, my manager presented me with a token representing my years of service and then quickly moved on to other business.  I was a little surprised but did my best not to dwell on it as this is not unusual for where I work.  Then, two weeks ago, one of my colleagues celebrated the same work anniversary milestone as I had the prior year, but this time, there was a big celebration and a lot of recognition for my colleague.  It was hard for me not to compare the two situations and become upset by what I perceived to be disparate treatment.  I was hurting but did not share that hurt with my colleagues.

As I began spiraling into negative thoughts, comparisons, and hurt feelings, I stopped myself by reminding myself of the words of the Litany of Humility.  I realized that my thoughts and feelings were leading me down a path to sins of pride.  I recognized that I needed to step back and ask God to deliver me from the desires of being esteemed, honored, and recognized.  I had forgotten that even if no one sees or recognizes me, God always sees me and that He is really the only audience that I should be concerned with.  When I live out the virtue of humility, I place my trust in God, asking Him to purify me of selfish desires and fears, and replace them with selfless desires.  While this is not an easy task for me, I know that it will help me on my path to holiness.  

Did I remember to turn to God with the hurt and pain I experienced today?

Thank you, God, for always seeing me and loving me.  May I place my trust in You to deliver me from my pain and suffering.  Grant me a heart that is humble and true to You.  Authentically Yours.

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