True Nature

Worrying has been my nature as far back as I can remember. I recall my father calling me a “worry wart” at a very young age. I’m pretty sure that I developed this practice because it gave me a sense of control of what might happen. I’m realizing now it gave me a sense of strength.

Over the course of my life, worrying has become more of a habit as life threw unfavorable events in my direction:  my uncle, grandmother, and father’s deaths within six months, my divorce shortly after, being a single mom with a contentious ex-husband. Somehow I must have thought that by thinking and worrying through what could happen it would somehow prevent additional potential harm or damage from occurring. 

Of course, there can be advantages to thinking problems through and trying to prepare ourselves for whatever may come, but we can often take it to an extreme, which leads to fear based decision making with anxiety rather than ones in balance and trust.

As I face the second half of life, I yearn to rest in the gift of peace as promised by God.  As my posture changes and I let loose of the grip on my life, I let go of the worry and trade it for my true nature of peace.

Thank you, Lord, for my true nature and for the courage to trust Your call to be a new creation.