I’ve always been stubborn and sometimes it takes a big smack on the head to get my attention. After successfully avoiding Covid for two and a half years, I finally got a mild case and am recovering. However, in this space of isolation, I can see clearly how the “achiever” in me has gotten caught up in the “doing” since returning to work and living a post Covid life. I’ve let all this interfere with my “being”. “Being” allows me to listen to the whisper of God’s voice, feel secure in who I am and “whose” I am. It keeps me from taking on the weight of the world.
I’m noticing how I stopped practicing the virtue of temperance and as a result have been missing the subtle messages to slow down. Unable to effectively moderate, I’ve been having a hard time denying myself of the things I want to eat and drink. I miss the whispers that the Spirit is speaking through my body that I’m hungry for something more. Truth be told, I’ve been ignoring them too when I’ve caught their gentle nudging. The increasing weight on the scale correlates to the heaviness of my Spirit.
During my Covid quarantine, I’ve brought this to prayer asking for help. Little did I know it would take a Covid reset to get me back on track. Sitting alone with God for a few days makes me keenly aware I’m craving something more than food or drink can satisfy. I need some soul food to nourish me which comes in the space of “being”. Longing for the love of my heart to fill me up which can only happen in the stillness. I found I have crossed the line yet again where my stubborn will was driving the bus, my wants, and my desires. Giving lip service to God, not being pure of heart and asking for His desires to live through me.
Be still and know that I am God.
Thank you, Lord, my Savior, for using everything for Your good, cleansing my heart and for Your patience allowing me to reset, again.
Smitten With Goodness 