Waiting in Peace

Yesterday I went for some diagnostic testing that my previous mammogram triggered. When I first got the news, I was petrified and went to the worst-case scenario, but as scheduling would have it, I had to sit in waiting for a month to go back in. 

During that time of waiting, I took my fears to God in prayer and reclaimed the gift I’ve been given:  peace. For me, this is a state of pure surrender and acceptance of any outcome. As I was in the additional testing, I had the oddest experience of seeing myself falling down a dark tunnel, not knowing where I was going, but feeling held, safe, secure, and not alone. I was observing this and thinking how can this be? I’m falling and can’t see where I’m going yet I’m OK with that. It was a very peaceful feeling.

I have to go in for even more testing as there is a spot on my breast that the doctor doesn’t feel right about not checking out. I’ll continue to wait for a while longer. But I’m waiting in the security and confidence that I am protected and not alone, despite the outcome of whatever a test regarding my health might be. I dwell in the shelter of the Most High.

You are my refuge, my strong, hold, my God, and whom I trust.

Psalm 91

Lord, thank you for always being near.